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Triflin' Negroes Like Jerome Adams, Explained
So I guess youâre back with the explainer thing for good, huh? I wouldnât say that. I didnât watch The Color Purple until 2011, so you know I donât like to commit to things. That makes no sense. Neither does RZA calling himself Bobby Digital but doing his IG Live battle through a Sony Pressman.…
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The Lonely Case for Joe Biden
Joe Biden has been, in order, a dangerous young politician, a disappointing older politician, a laughable Democratic presidential candidate, a middling vice president, an uninspired Democratic presidential candidate, and now an uninspiring Democratic nominee. The most charitable encapsulation of him is that heâs merely a benevolent anachronism in over his headâan innocuous relic yet to…
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Wendy Bell, America's Worst White Woman, Is Back (and Wants to Kill Your Grandparents)
I imagine that, if youâve never heard of Wendy Bell, you find her anointment as Americaâs Worst White Woman to be suspicious. âWho is this mystery woman,â I picture you asking, âwho somehow beat Ann Coulter, Abigail Fisher, and Toejam Lobotomy to be Americaâs worst white woman? How is she the LeBron of Karens?â Well,…
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What the Coronavirus Is Doing to Black People Ain't a Conspiracy. It's Just America
Months ago, when the first news stories about COVID-19 were published, I read a convoluted Facebook status from one of my 4992 closest friends that connected the coronavirus to âmandated vaccinationsââwhich, according to them, would actually be an elaborate government ploy to implant chips in us and track our behavior. If Iâd had time that…
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The Difference Between a ‘Karen’ and a ‘Becky,’ Explained
Merriam-Webster defines âBeckyâ as âa white woman who is ignorant of both her privilege and her prejudice.â
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Bubble Guppies, Explained
What is a Bubble Guppy? No idea. None? No. A Bubble Guppy could be at my desk, right now, on a FaceTime call with Jason Derulo, and all Iâd be thinking is âWhere are his pants?â Whose pants? I donât know. Youâre not making any sense. Ask better questions. Okay. So why are you doing…
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Trump-Supporting Piece of Shit Robert Kraft Does the Least He Can Do
New England Patriots owner Robert Kraft is in the news today for sending his private plane to China to get 1.7 million N95 masks for health care workers in Massachusetts. This is, without a doubt, a good thing. It will save lives. Robert Kraft is also the chairman and CEO of Kraft Group LLC, which…
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The Coronavirus Killed My Friend. His Blood Is on Donald Trump's Hands
On Sunday the 29th, the New York Times published âNothing Matters Anymore (Except What Actually Does)ââmy essay about some of the existential crises the coronavirus has thrust on us, the violence of the whiplash of the past month, and the electric slide. I first sent Jen Parker, a staff editor at the Times, a draft…
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10 Things Everyone Loves but I Pretty Much Hate
So thereâs an unpopular opinion prompt thing going around Facebookâwhere youâre asked to list 10 things everyone loves but you kinda hate. I sometimes get annoyed with these sort of things because people donât follow the rules and just start listing things that everyone hates (â1. funerals.â), but thankfully people havenât been doing that with…
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Introverts Hate This Shit Too, Y'all
I grew up on a block with killers, crack dealers, dope fiends, stick-up kids, at least two arsonists, arbitrarily unchained pit bulls that âdonât all bite like that, really,â niggas with cases, girls with bids, aunties with bounties, snitches and cops from the actual show Cops (they used to film in my neighborhood). When I…
