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  • The Delicious Salt of Brett Kavanaugh’s White Tears

    When watching Brett Kavanaugh—a man whose job interview is quite a bit harder than he anticipated it being—break down during Supreme Court confirmation hearings today as he denies the charges levied against him by Christine Blasey Ford, it’s natural to assume that he’s acting, that the tears he’s struggling to hold back is a dance…

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    Damon Young

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  • Lindsey Graham Is Scared Shitless

    Forget, for a moment, about the words escaping Lindsey Graham’s feckless and pouty mouth today, and the threats conjured when said words are stitched and strung together. Forget his long and pillowy face, and how when things drip out from them you’re sometimes left to wonder how a hot dog bun possesses the wherewithal to…

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    Damon Young

    Published

  • Bill Cosby Hates You 

    We can conclude, with much evidence and without much doubt, that Bill Cosby hates women. When a person has been deemed by a judge a “sexually violent predator” and said person’s prey happens to be women—dozens of women—using hate to describe the predator’s feelings towards them is such a common sense encapsulation that it might…

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    Damon Young

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  • Watch: America's Ashiest People

    If you ever wanted to 1. know who the nine ashiest people in America are and 2. watch me on camera revealing the list, today is your day. Today is your birthday. Behold as I list the folks whose ashiness transcends the physical and becomes spiritual—metaphysical, even. This is what happens when both your skin and…

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    Damon Young

    Published

  • Tomcat Licorice Tells Michelle Obama to ‘Sit Down,’ And She Really Don’t Want Those Problems

    Earlier today, Tyrannosaurus Lobotomy crawled from out of her loft space in a Lululemon changing room trash can to tweet that Michelle Obama should “sit down” because Obama referred to her husband, Barack Obama, as a great president during a rally in Las Vegas. Of course, a trash person formulating trash thoughts and opening their…

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    Damon Young

    Published

  • 25 Things Overheard When Watching Girls Trip In a Hotel Room Full of Men During a Bachelor Party in New Orleans

    This time last week, I was in New Orleans for Panama’s bachelor party weekend. I arrived Friday afternoon, and after the fellas already in New Orleans returned from the plantation tour, we gathered in Panama’s hotel room to kick it and determine our plans for the night. The TV happened to be on, and Girls…

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    Damon Young

    Published

  • A Look Back at the Reaction to 'Straight Black Men Are the White People of Black People' a Year Later

    A year ago, a line in a piece from Saki Benibo—an assertion also articulated a year before in a tweet from Mela Machinko—inspired me to write something of my own based on that statement. The result (“Straight Black Men Are The White People Of Black People”) was my most read VSB piece of 2017. It…

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    Damon Young

    Published

  • As Ugly As President Trump Is, He's Just A Mirror For White America

    Earlier today, while millions of Americans prepared to get hit by what’s expected to be a devastating hurricane, the man America elected president got on an app and denied the existences of thousands of Americans—claiming that their deaths were fabricated by his political rivals to make him look bad. We are likely stuck with this…

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    Damon Young

    Published

  • An Open Letter to the People Who Drive This Snitch-Ass, Cop-Ass Ford Explorer

    Hello. First off, I’m aware you may very well be a kind and nice and BeyoncĂ©-fearing citizen, but go fuck yourself. No offense, but I mean that from the bottom of my heart—the same heart, by the way, that you give palpitations to whenever I happen to see your ass behind me. I thumb my…

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    Damon Young

    Published

  • Has Valerie Scogin, the Teacher Who Said Black People Should Go Back to Africa, Ever Taken a DNA Test? Because, Well …

    There have been and will continue to be calls for Valerie Scogin — the Louisiana school teacher who essentially called black people lazy animals who should go back to Africa—to be suspended and/or fired. These demands have merit, because not only is Scogin racist, she got her “facts” from a MAGA fortune cookie. And since…

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    Damon Young

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