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A List of Black People I'm (Mostly) Certain Are Not White Women From Kansas
1. Tyronn Lue 2. My aunt Jean 3. The nigga who played “Poot” from The Wire 4. The cute widdle Black baby model on the box of Pampers I bought yesterday 5. Boston University professor Saida Grundy 6. Panama Jackson 7. “Shatasha” from Bone Thugs n’ Harmony 8. Summer Lee 9. That young boy at…
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Colonoscopies Are Easy! Colonoscopy Prep Is Hell on Earth!
The tragic death of Chadwick Boseman has inspired increased conversation about the importance of colonoscopies to catch colon cancer and other colorectal disorders. The CDC recommends that you wait until you’re 50 to start screening. But, since Black people are 20 percent more likely to be diagnosed with colon cancer and 40 percent more likely…
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35 Things I Thought Were Signs of Extreme Wealth When I Was Younger
1. A garage 2. A basketball hoop on said garage 3. A fiberglass basketball hoop (if you had this, I assumed you were Warren Buffet) 4. A pantry 5. A finished basement 6. A family with two cars 7. A salary of over $60,000 a year 8. Annual family vacations 9. Having separate hoop shoes…
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It's Fine to Just Cry, Too
I keep coming back to resilience. And how I hate how we consider it to be an essential and inherent and invaluable characteristic of Blackness. I hate it because it’s dehumanizing. Being born Black don’t make us any more resilient than anyone else. We ain’t stronger. We ain’t tougher. We’ve just been given more shit to…
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VAN JONES IS AARON BURR!
It finally dawned on me yesterday, after reading that Van Jones said Jared Kushner has “the dopest job in the world.” Which is such a Van Jones-ass thing to do and say—and not just because he’s praising the effete criminal dickwad who’s what would happen if every Jared ever and every 28-year-old MBA ever were…
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So Maybe It's Time to Defund Sports, Too
If you ever find yourself walking around downtown Pittsburgh on a Friday afternoon in the early fall—when the weather is still nice enough to be jacket-less—you’d encounter many of the amenities that consistently place it on America’s Most Livable Cities lists. The world-renowned Cultural District. Restaurants helmed by Beard-nominated chefs. Architectural and topographical marvels unseen…
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When a Black Man Yearns to be the Worst White Man
I’m reminded this afternoon, when rewatching Kentucky Attorney General Daniel Cameron’s goofy speech at the Republican National Convention, of Pinocchio. And of Icarus. And of Antonio Salieri. And of Tom Ripley. And of the Chrysler 300. And of so many other people and places and things—fictional and as real as tree bark—that have pined to…
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Abolish All These Damn Zoom Work Calls So I Can Be Naked While Working at Home Again
So it’s not so much that working while naked is a thing I need to do. I’m anemic, so I get cold easily. (I am the person who, immediately after checking into a hotel room, turns the thermostat to 80, leaves and doesn’t come back until the room is sufficiently toasty.) And it doesn’t feel…
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Exclusive: Photos of the Los Angeles Clippers Guarding Luka Doncic During Sunday's Overtime Thriller
Here’s some shots of Reggie Jackson contesting Luka’s game-winning step-back. Here’s a really good one of Marcus Morris getting switched on to Luka in the fourth quarter. Paul George also took a stab at guarding Luka. I got a great shot of that too. Kawhi Leonard was mostly successful when defending Luka, which is why Doc…
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New York City Is Dead, Because I Killed It When I Left and Went Back Home to Pittsburgh: An Essay About Murder
“The city is dead,” I said, aloud, to no one, while each step I took crashed the same cement I’d fallen in love with. The pizza box I lugged with me—filled, just 32 minutes earlier, with a New York City pizza slice—was empty, except for crumbs. Heh. A metaphor, for the dead city. “A metaphor,…
