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The Root's Clapback Mailbag: Unseasoned Salt
I donāt care. Although I am curious by nature, I generally donāt care what people do or say. I relate to the rest of the world as if they were planning a gender reveal party, an orgy or a prayer meeting at an Episcopalian churchāIām not interested but do you. However, I find myself immensely…
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A History of Black Excellence: The Man Who Invented Laughter
We are the culture. We created jazz, blues, soul, R&B, hip-hop, swing dancing, the Lindy hop, the Charleston, the jitterbug, tap dancing, the moonwalk, the slide (both the cha-cha and the electric one) juking, the James Brown, the robot, breakdancing, pop-locking, graffiti, freestyling, dunking, running fast, jumping high, Cabbage-Patching during touchdowns, frying chicken and candying…
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Georgia Does What Georgia Does, Introduces Legislation to Suppress the Black Vote
White supremacists in Georgia introduced legislation aimed at disenfranchising Black voters by restricting access to the polls. The eight proposed laws wouldā Wait. Did you click on this link expecting a whitewashed article euphemizing racial politics? If thatās what you were expecting, perhaps you should read the CNN story that says: āGOP state senators in…
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America Predicts Six More Weeks of Whiteness (at Least)
Early Tuesday morning, a corpulent, fur-covered woodchuck waddled out of its rathole burrowed beneath the surface of facts, logic and common sense. As the blinding light of truth radiated on its dust-colored rodent skin, darkening the earth beneath the feckless furball, the assembled audience could see that this long, cold winter of Americaās discontent would…
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28 Days of Black Joy: How to Celebrate Black History Month
We donāt do enough for Black History Month. I think it should be a high celebration. Itās Negro Ramadan. Itās the extended remix of Kwanzaa. Itās like August for white people (Wait, you didnāt know that August was white peopleās favorite month? Look it up.) I believe Black History Month should be a month-long Sadie…
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The Root's Clapback Mailbag: White History Months
Today, as Black History Month dawns upon us, let us not forget to celebrate the mediocre white people who flood our inboxes with caucasoidal ruminations about how wrong we are. Today we honor the factless frat boys. The clueless Caucasians. The stupid Sarahs and airheaded Amys. White mediocrity is the fuel that powers this country…
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How to Be a Black Ally
White people are having a hard time right now. Ever since mee-maw and gramps tried to overthrow the government, everyone who owns a pair of wraparound shades has been targeted by law enforcement officials. The most prominent member of White Twitter has been kicked off the internet. Parler (also known as Caucasian Clubhouse) has been…
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After Killing Black Man and Destroying Evidence, Florida Man Claims 'Stand Your Ground,' Gets 1 Year in Jail
Gardner Kent Fraser killed Dominic āDJā Broadus II but no one knows why. Fraser doesnāt deny it, nor does the state attorney for Floridaās Eighth Judicial Circuit. After shooting Broadus in the face, investigators say Fraser, who is white, waited 21 minutes to dial 911. Asked by emergency operators if he knew Broadus, Fraser said:…
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The Root's Clapback Mailbag: Richard Petty
Facts are evil. Nothing is as malicious and divisive to white people as when Black people start talking about actual reality. Because of the bulletproof nature of white privilege, they arenāt necessarily hurt by factual information. However, some white people feel attacked when a Black person brings up actual data or historical information. If someone…
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The Caucasian's Guide to Post-MAGA America
Although the MAGA Gamesā closing ceremony has been ridiculed for the fourth-shittiest fireworks display since Francis Scott Key penned his magnum opus (Hiroshima, Nagasaki and Pearl Harbor still finish with medals), when we realized that white people were going to have a lot of time on their hands for the foreseeable future, we knew we…
