#CrosswalkCathy Calls Police on Black Man Because She Didn’t Like The Way He Parked

Another day and another white woman is becoming an Internet sensation for calling the police on a black man who parked his car too far into the crosswalk for her liking. I miss the old days when passive aggressive white women wrote notes and left them on your windshield.

Portland, Ore., couple Rashsaan Muhammad and Mattie Khan were running to grab a quick bite to eat at Big Burger when they spotted a woman bearing the skin color of an American terrorist standing across the street looking at their parked car.

“She looked odd, but it didn’t alarm us,” Muhammad told the Portland Mercury. They didn’t think much of it and went on to grab some food. When they returned with their to-go bags, they knew something was going on. Muhammad told the Mercury that the woman was on the phone, which is becoming the first sign of trouble as emboldened white women having been deputized by no one have become America’s first line of defense in keeping America safe.

Khan noted in a Facebook post that she could hear the woman giving the couple’s license plate number to whom they assumed was the police.

“I tried to start a conversation, I asked her who she was calling and what was going on,” Muhammad said. “It was clear she was talking to the police.”

Khan used the anti-racist defense tactic of recording the interaction, which would lead to a hashtag, internet infamy and possible firing from one’s job.

“You can’t block the crosswalk,” the amateur parking inspector says. “Look at this. You are!”

The woman also added that she lived in the neighborhood. The video doesn’t show the car fully but the Mercury notes that the car is clearly sticking out an inch or two in front of the curb and therefore into the crosswalk. The Root would also add that the woman is probably not racist because she has yet to burn the Nikes that she is proudly wearing.

Muhammad said that he knew his parking spot was tight but figured it was cool because they were just picking up a quick bite to eat and going about their day. It should also be noted that the video does not show the 1,203 pile-ups that did not happen when cars tried to ease past the egregious parking job.

“She didn’t try to talk to us. She just called the police,” Muhammad said. “Why would people spend the time just trying to make our lives harder instead of talking it out like neighbors?”

The couple waited a few days before posting the video to Facebook.

“It’s part of a bigger problem that we as a community need to address,” Muhammad said. To him, the interaction was less about the color of his skin and more about lack of communication and empathy in a changing neighborhood.

“New people come in and change a neighborhood and it causes these kinds of stressful situations,” he said. “We don’t interact with each other the way we used to.”

Muhammad did not say if he was issued a citation for parking, obstructing official white business or “Carolyn’s Law,” the 1955 statute inspired by Carolyn Bryant’s Emmett Till tale that penalizes black men for staring too hard at white women.