The 2022 NFL Pro Bowl Rosters Are Here, but There Seem to Be Some Glaring Omissions

Hear ye, hear ye!

The 2022 NFL Pro Bowl rosters are here!

Sadly, this means you didn’t get world peace or that new Polaris Slingshot for Christmas, but at least you get to find out which NFL players are considered the best of the best within their respective conferences—kinda like how The Root’s own Managing Editor of The Glow Up, Maiysha Kai, is in a class of her own when it comes to last-minute gift guides. (Y’all are welcome, by the way.)

But here’s who you can expect to see at prom over in the AFC:

Offense

Quarterback:

Justin Herbert, Los Angeles ChargersPatrick Mahomes, Kansas City ChiefsLamar Jackson, Baltimore Ravens

Running back:

Jonathan Taylor, Indianapolis ColtsNick Chubb, Cleveland BrownsJoe Mixon, Cincinnati Bengals

Wide receiver:

Tyreek Hill, Kansas City ChiefsJa’Marr Chase, Cincinnati BengalsStefon Diggs, Buffalo BillsKeenan Allen, Los Angeles Chargers

Tight end:

Mark Andrews, Baltimore RavensTravis Kelce, Kansas City Chiefs

Offensive tackle:

Rashawn Slater, Los Angeles ChargersOrlando Brown, Kansas City ChiefsDion Dawkins, Buffalo Bills

Offensive guard:

Quenton Nelson, Indianapolis ColtsJoel Bitonio, Cleveland BrownsWyatt Teller, Cleveland Browns

Center:

Corey Linsley, Los Angeles ChargersRyan Kelly, Indianapolis Colts

Fullback:

Patrick Ricard, Baltimore Ravens

Defense

Defensive end:

Myles Garrett, Cleveland BrownsMaxx Crosby, Las Vegas RaidersTrey Hendrickson, Cincinnati Bengals

Interior linemen:

DeForest Buckner, Indianapolis ColtsChris Jones, Kansas City ChiefsCameron Heyward, Pittsburgh Steelers

Outside linebacker:

T.J. Watt, Pittsburgh SteelersJoey Bosa, Los Angeles ChargersMatt Judon, New England Patriots

Inside/Middle linebacker:

Darius Leonard, Indianapolis ColtsDenzel Perryman, Las Vegas Raiders

Cornerback:

J.C. Jackson, New England PatriotsXavien Howard, Miami DolphinsDenzel Ward, Cleveland BrownsKenny Moore II, Indianapolis Colts

Free safety:

Kevin Byard, Tennessee Titans

Strong safety:

Derwin James, Los Angeles ChargersTyrann Mathieu, Kansas City Chiefs

Special Teams

Long snapper:

Luke Rhodes, Indianapolis Colts

Punter:

A.J. Cole, Las Vegas Raiders

Placekicker:

Justin Tucker, Baltimore Ravens

Return specialist:

Devin Duvernay, Baltimore Ravens

Special teamer:

Matthew Slater, New England Patriots

Wowwwwwwwwwwww. Not a single player from the Denver Broncos?!?!! It’s the blatant disrespect for me.

Over in the NFC, here’s who gets to sit with the cool kids:

Offense

Quarterback:

Aaron Rodgers, Green Bay PackersTom Brady, Tampa Bay BuccaneersKyler Murray, Arizona Cardinals

Running back:

Dalvin Cook, Minnesota VikingsJames Conner, Arizona CardinalsAlvin Kamara, New Orleans Saints

Wide receiver:

Cooper Kupp, Los Angeles RamsDavante Adams, Green Bay PackersJustin Jefferson, Minnesota VikingsDeebo Samuel, San Francisco 49ers

Tight end:

George Kittle, San Francisco 49ersKyle Pitts, Atlanta Falcons

Offensive tackle:

Trent Williams, San Francisco 49ersTristan Wirfs, Tampa Bay BuccaneersTyron Smith, Dallas Cowboys

Offensive guard:

Zack Martin, Dallas CowboysBrandon Scherff, Washington Football TeamAli Marpet, Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Center:

Jason Kelce, Philadelphia EaglesRyan Jensen, Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Fullback:

Kyle Juszczyk, San Francisco 49ers

Defense

Defensive end:

Nick Bosa, San Francisco 49ersBrian Burns, Carolina PanthersCameron Jordan, New Orleans Saints

Interior linemen:

Aaron Donald, Los Angeles RamsJonathan Allen, Washington Football TeamKenny Clark, Green Bay Packers

Outside linebacker:

Chandler Jones, Arizona CardinalsRobert Quinn, Chicago BearsShaquil Barrett, Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Inside/Middle linebacker:

Micah Parsons, Dallas CowboysBobby Wagner, Seattle Seahawks

Cornerback:

Trevon Diggs , Dallas CowboysJalen Ramsey, Los Angeles RamsDarius Slay, Philadelphia EaglesMarshon Lattimore, New Orleans Saints

Free safety:

Quandre Diggs, Seattle Seahawks

Strong safety:

Budda Baker, Arizona CardinalsHarrison Smith, Minnesota Vikings

Special Teams

Long snapper:

Josh Harris, Atlanta Falcons

Punter:

Bryan Anger, Dallas Cowboys

Placekicker:

Matt Gay, Los Angeles Rams

Return specialist:

Jakeem Grant, Chicago Bears

Special teamer:

J.T. Gray, New Orleans Saints

Looking at these rosters, Omarion Omicron variant aside, I think it’s safe to say there are some pretty glaring omissions. So try as I may to be a better me, I gotta get up on this pulpit and speak my truth, y’all.

How in THE FUCK is a dude with five interceptions (Can you name a safety with more? I’ll wait.), two sacks, and 68 tackles (four for loss) not a Pro Bowler?! In the immortal words of DMX, “Y’all gon’ make me lose my mind up in here.”

If your nickname is the same as a video game console (PS2), you better have game. And this ballin’ ass rookie has plenty. Aside from being a damn near shutdown corner already, the big homie has four interceptions (and counting) and has the fourth-best targeted EPA in the entire league. (TRANSLATION: You aren’t scoring on his ass.)

Okay, now I’m just lying like shit. Dude is trash. But y’all gon’ put some respect on my Denver Broncos, goddammit!!!!!

If you’ve missed half the season and are still 5th in the league in rushing yards, you deserve all the things. Fuck that.

I know, I know. Lamar Jackson is that dude, but he’s struggled this season with damn near his entire team on IR. And as much as I love that guy, you gotta be high as shit not to admit that Burrow has been the superior player this year. Yes, his league-high 14 interceptions are ugly, but his passer rating—which is higher than Tom Brady, Dak Prescott, Patrick Mahomes, and damn near everyone else—isn’t. He deserves the nod. I said what I said.

As the President and Chief Executive Officer of the Get Busy Committee, the nine-year vet has been wreaking havoc all over the field all season long. You need somebody to pound the rock? He’s got you. You need some returns that will get you excellent field position? Not a problem. Oh, you need him to run some routes too? Fam, you already know that’s in the bag. And with 10 touchdowns and 1,421 combined yards, about the only thing he can’t do is stroll into a woman’s bathroom.

Congrats to everyone who made the 2022 Pro Bowl rosters, and please keep those that didn’t in your thoughts and prayers.