The Root’s Clapback Mailbag: Unanswered Questions

It’s clapback Friday, and you know what that means: Time for me to sit down and write another introduction for the emails, tweets and comments that The Root receives during the week.

This week’s clapbacks are dedicated to all the white people who email us with recurring themes, namely:

Why are black people so stupid and white people so smart?

Why don’t you ever talk about reverse discrimination?

Why do you hate white people so much?

Well, today we answer your questions.

From Twitter user—and no, I’m not making this up—Michael YouAreStupid:

Just wanted to let you know that I read some of your posts on The Root and just wanted to let you know that you are one of the most retarded people to come into existence on this planet, congratulations. Way to demonize white people when your own shit race is responsible for the most crime in the country despite being only somewhere between 12-15% of the population. Go educate yourself so you can have some context the next time you feel like you want to speak about something you are so clearly ignorant in.’

Dear Mr. YouAreStupid:

First, I and my “shit race” would like to thank you for going on Twitter, creating an account and naming it “Michael YouAreStupid.” I wish I had that much time on my hands, but bravo to you. You are obviously good at whatever you do … and racism. You are very good at racism.

Second, I’m glad you brought to my attention how much less advanced my “shit race” is than every other race. Your intense research of stupid internet memes instantly trumps the nondebatable historical facts that every advancement in ancient European society was stolen from Africa.

Do you have an “alt-right” meme about how the things you hold dear for having been created by “Western civilization” and white men were remnants of knowledge we donated to the savage palefaces who traveled to Egypt to learn science, astronomy and architecture? Is there a Twitter pic that shows how Socrates, Plato and Aristotle were really just hacks regurgitating remnants of philosophy they learned in Africa?

Does your meme research include any captions that talk about how the now decrepit Greek and Roman buildings were constructed centuries after the pyramids? Is there one that explains how Europeans thought the Earth was flat and the sun revolved around the Earth and didn’t know how to navigate with compasses or by the stars until someone from the “dark continent” told them: “Hold up, you silly white man. Let me show you something”?

Or maybe you might be able to find a photo that represents the idea that Africans are living in huts because thirsty, greedy white men arrived on the shores of Africa ready to rape, pillage and plunder everything on the continent because … well … that’s just what white people do.

Or, just to see what it would look like, maybe you could show a collage comparison of the Native Americans, Africans, Aborigines, Aztecs, Mayans, Taino and Inuit to illustrate what happens when white people show up.

Nah, that’s just too many “shit race” boxes.

Brianboz, there are a lot of black people who immediately dismiss the idea of reverse racism. I do not. I believe that it exists because I once met a white guy who explained to me how he grew up poor in an all-black neighborhood and was constantly picked on. I stand against all racism, even the reverse kind. It is demeaning, and no one should have to endure it.

I think affirmative action is definitely a form of reverse racism. I also think that reverse racism is actually worse than regular, American-made, throwback racism, because no one acknowledges it, and it is harder to deal with.

B-Boz, I understand that being white is like being a piece of delicate crystal—you are easily broken. Someone so fragile shouldn’t have to experience the horror of bigotry. I mean, black people have the luxury of having had their skin and psyches weathered and hardened by centuries of dealing with prejudice. It hurts so much more when you must deal with it once or twice in a lifetime.

Some people would say that crying about reverse racism is like whining about how much it hurts when lightning strikes, but not me, Boz. I feel your pain. I understand how affirmative action probably gave the two minority Fortune 500 CEOs their jobs, but the other 498 “worked their way to the top.” I believe you are right to direct accusations of reverse racism toward college admissions boards who want diverse institutions. I can’t imagine how bad you feel when you are excluded from a job because a company wants to hire more minorities.

But I have a question for you, Brian B: Do you feel the same pain in your panties-bunched anal region when you conveniently ignore the biased testing, unequal education system, and history of segregation and exclusion that created the need for those programs? Are your white tears as salty when you think about how the black unemployment rate has been double that of whites for more than 50 years? When you hear how résumés with black names are tossed in the trash, or how black people are paid less than white people regardless of education or experience, do you have the same level of butt-hurtedness?

One more question, Brian: Would you like to hear how I know the concept of “reverse racism” is a bullshit product of white fragility, white tears and idiotic, unaware cognitive dissonance?

Because—unlike the original-recipe racism that black people deal with every day—“reverse racism” happens so infrequently to white people that when it does, they actually remember it.

The following tweets are in response to the new Nas-and-Jay-Z-like beef between me and Megan McArdle in this article:

Sabrina, don’t listen to Doug. He is wrong. I do actually respect you. Contrary to popular belief, I don’t hate white people.

I’m sure Doug thinks I do. There are many people who assume that I dislike white people as a whole, and I want to assure you that I do not. This next analogy is going to sound fucked up at first, but I pray you’ll understand.

I treat white people like my sister treats dogs.

When my sisters and I were growing up, there were homes with mean dogs scattered throughout my neighborhood. One day, one of them got loose and bit my sister on the leg. She has been afraid of dogs ever since.

My sister is smart. She knows that not every dog bites. She understands that most dogs won’t bite her. But there is no way to distinguish the ones who will bite from the ones who won’t, so she just stays away from dogs. She doesn’t trust them.

Here’s the funny thing: My sister has a rescue dog named Lola that she absolutely loves. Actually, she loves Lola more than people should love animals. She takes her dog to dog church and treats it like a human. She knows Lola won’t bite her because she knows Lola.

Sabrina, when I write about “white people,” I’m writing about the mean ones. I’m writing about the racist ones. I’m not talking about all white people when I talk about race. I know that there are some white people who don’t hold malice and racism in their hearts.

But imagine how you would feel if you were attacked by dogs every day for 400 years. If you have been bitten by them at civil rights marches. If you have seen them chase you off their lawns. Imagine centuries of watching them maul people who look like you. Imagine knowing that they are trained by society to attack you. Wouldn’t that make you leery of dogs?

But Doug would have you believe that I hate them. I do not. I don’t even think that all, or even most, will bite. I just try to deconstruct the reasons dogs are like this. I want the training to stop so that I don’t get nervous every time a dog sees me. I don’t hate dogs.

But I know they all have teeth.