Man Who Filmed Ahmaud Arbery's Death Accuses Georgia of Systemic Racism…Against White People

In one of the most ambitious attempts in the history of the Caucasian activity known as “trying it,” the man incarcerated for his alleged participation in the mini-lynch mob that led to the death of Ahmaud Arbery has petitioned for his release, claiming that the current “racially charged” atmosphere makes it impossible for a white man to get justice in America.

Stop laughing. This is a serious story.

William “Roddie” Bryan Jr. was arrested and charged with felony murder and attempt to commit false imprisonment for his part in the ride-along that ended when he reportedly helped Travis and Gregory McMichael chase 25-year-old Ahmaud Arbery on Feb. 23, 2020. After cornering Arbery with their vehicles, Bryan captured video of Travis McMichael shooting Arbery twice with a shotgun, killing him.

Then, they just went home.

On January 12, Bryan’s attorney filed a third request for a bond hearing, arguing that his client was but a mere lynching documentarian whose evidence helped break the case wide open (after he initially withheld it from authorities because… you know… someone died). The motion alleges that the state of Georgia “stretched the truth to the breaking point” with “Orwellian and “Kafka-esque” suggestions that caused a judge to deny him bond. It wasn’t the video of Bryan participating in an alleged murder plot; it was Georgia.

But the best part of the motion claiming that Bryan is “indisputably the least culpable person charged,” is the part that accuses Georgia of being biased against the shutterbug who shot the shooter shooting Ahmaud Arbery because he’s white. But first, you should know, there’s gonna be a lot of strangely placed commas.

“The eyes of a weary nation are on Georgia, and its criminal justice system, wondering whether in this racially charged atmosphere, and political climate, a white person accused of a crime of violence against a black person can still receive a fair trial in the Georgia courts,” wrote attorney and comma aficionado Kevin Gough. “These defendants remained the only individuals to be denied bond in any of these high profile, racially charged cases.”

(Also, fuck hyphens. Gough is all about the commas)

Gough also pleaded for Bryan’s release on account of his high blood pressure, noting that his client’s blood pressure hadn’t been checked in 10 days, just like most human beings on the planet who haven’t participated in an on-camera execution. Bryan is allowed to take medication but, according to the comma lawyer, this is another example of Georgia’s racist attempt to “inflict further injustice upon” an accused murderer just because of the color of his skin (which, I assume, is murder-colored).

I thought I asked you not to laugh?

“The inability of Mr. Bryan to even obtain a hearing on his second motion for bond does little to encourage Mr. Bryan or his family and friends — or the community at large — that the Georgia courts are up to the challenge but time will tell,” Gough concludes.

And Gough is right. Only a racist, anti-white system like Georgia would deny a man his freedom just because he is accused of murder. The fact that Bryan and the McMichaels had the chance to walk around and for three months they stalked, shot and killed a man after arbitrarily accusing him of a crime he didn’t commit isn’t racist at all. But jailing them for taking someone’s life during a “citizen’s arrest?” That’s obviously the racist part.

It’s enough to make your pressha rise.

And everyone knows that blood pressure is racist.