Opinion
Opinion
-
Tomi Lahren Says People Are Being Mean to Her And It's All Maxine Waters' Fault
Tomi Lahren, Satanās blonde-haired colostomy bag, went full snowflake on Fox News Saturday night, explaining that people think sheās a trash human being because of Maxine Waters, and not because sheās actually a trash bag full of right-wing vomit. On Saturdayās episode of Justice with Judge Jeanine, Lahren and Jeanine Pirro put on a miraculous…
-
#PoolPatrolPatty: White Apartment Manager Fired After Calling Police on Black Couple Because of Socks
Apparently black people couldnāt catch a break during the 4th of July holiday when attempting to use the pool at various apartment complexes across the U.S. First there was Adam Bloom in Winston-Salem, N.C., who called the police on a black woman who he thought didnāt belong at a pool. But just a few states…
-
Paul Blart, Pool Cop Fired After Calling Police on Woman For Swimming in Her Own Pool
The tartar sauce-hued hero who served as sentry to his neighborhood watering hole has lost his job after he sicced the police on a black woman who was trying to sneak into the pool area he patrolled like a fugitive slave catcher. On Friday, Sonoco Products Company announced that Adam Bloom was no longer employed…
-
The Root'sĀ Clapback Mailbag: The Five Kinds of Clapbacks
When separating the comments, emails, tweets and messages for the mailbag each week, the correspondences usually fall into one of five categories. Today, we shall explore each classification with examples of mail from each distinct class. And if Deputy Managing Editor Yesha Callahan says this intro is too short, tell her to write her own…
-
Florida Officer Accuses Burger King of Putting Dirt in Food. Turns Out, It Was Seasoning
And this, ladies and gentlemen, is why you should never eat Karenās potato salad. If wypipo canāt tell dirt from seasoning…what in the water-is-too-spicy hell is this? Fort Myers, Fla., Police Officer Tim McCormickās complaint sent Burger King into this giant investigation after he accused employees at the fast-food chain of putting dirt in his…
-
I've Been Family-Free for a Whole Week and I've Discovered How Boring That Can Be
Becoming a parent is a life-changing event. Nothing is the same after your child is born and I mean literally the moment theyāre born. Everyday from that moment forward starts to look different and gradually separates it from even the life that existed the day before their birth. My daughter was born in 2009. I…
-
Rich White People Shunning Other Rich White People For Supporting Donald Trump Is Hilarious
Alan Dershowitz is a white, Jewish defense attorney who is famous for having served on the OJ Simpson āDream Team.ā Seeing as we all know how white people feel about OJ being acquitted for the murders of Nicole Brown Simpson and Ronald Goldman, you would think that particular part of his personal history would be…
-
The Rootās Clapback Mailbag: Itās Not My Fault
Itās not my fault. You know black peopleāwe never accept responsibilities for our actions. When I was hired by The Root, I stupidly pitched the idea of the Clapback Mailbag, where I would respond every week to the emails, tweets and comments received by the staff. I blame David Lettermanās āViewer Mailbagā and Deadspinās Funbag…
-
Muslim Travel Ban? There Has Never Been an America Without Islam or Muslims
I am an American Muslim, and like thousands of American-Muslim families, my family has been in America for over 10 generations. I am also one of tens of thousands of American-Muslim military veterans. I served honorably in the U.S. Navy, earning two Navy and Marine Corps Achievement medals while deployed abroad. Like other service members,…
-
A List of Every Stress-Related Illness Iāve Ever Had, Ranked From Horrible to āI Think Iām Dyingā
When you donāt listen to your body, your body has a way of forcing you to listen. Or at least thatās what my body does, over and over again, from annoying to terrifying effect. When you suffer from stress-induced anxiety, as I do and have since I was a child, you get a host of…