Some Thoughts
Some Thoughts
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Historic Approaching Polar Vortex Is Just God Telling Us to Get the Fuck in the House
America is American-ing like shit right now in our collective response to the coronavirus. Of course, there’s the reality that we (black people) are disproportionately harmed by it—something that makes the aggressively white protests of the stay-at-home orders less about “freedom” and more about “freedom…but for niggers to die.” But then there’s the other thing…
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Stop Me If You've Heard This Before, But Jason Whitlock Is a Special Kind of Stupid
After a lengthy stint at ESPN, former NFL Pro Bowler-turned-sports commentator Marcellus Wiley expressed his desire to pursue greener pastures at Fox Sports in 2018. I was a big fan of his previous show, SportsNation, and looked forward to him expanding upon his unique skill set of league experience, eloquence—though not of the over-the-top Stephen…
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For White People Who Have Considered Genocide When Coronavirus Wasn't Enough
Like Coco dancing. I imagine hate feels like Coco dancing. Erica Gimpel played dance student Coco Hernandez on the 1980’s television show Fame. Coco didn’t comb her hair. She didn’t care about anything else but dancing. And, in every third episode, the Fame producers would write a scene that required Coco to bust every available…
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NASCAR's Only Black Driver Believes Racist Ass Kyle Larson Deserves a Second Chance…Sadly, I'm Fresh Out of Grace
As black folks throughout the world can attest, being the only one in the room not only comes with adversity, but a tremendous sense of responsibility. As such, we can find ourselves coerced into speaking or acting for our entire community, and in turn, mistakenly causing more harm to our own in the process. Earlier…
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MAGA vs. Hotep: The Coronavirus Conspiracy Theory Battle
A hotep and a MAGAt walk into a bar… “Why aren’t you wearing your mask?” asks the bartender. “Oh, I don’t believe in the coronavirus,” replies the Trump supporter, sipping on a Mountain Dew Code Red. “It’s a plot by the government to get us to take a poison vaccine.” “I know, right?” says the…
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The 10 Best Things About NASCAR Star Kyle Larson Saying the Word That Starts With 'N' and Rhymes With 'Bigger'
Even during the dark days of the pandemic, when a handshake will kill you and a Kushner will drink your blood, the sun occasionally shines on us, and it’s our duty to bathe in its luminance. Such a time happened on Sunday when, during an iRacing event, NASCAR star Kyle Larson lost communication with the…
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Wendy Bell, America's Worst White Woman, Is Back (and Wants to Kill Your Grandparents)
I imagine that, if you’ve never heard of Wendy Bell, you find her anointment as America’s Worst White Woman to be suspicious. “Who is this mystery woman,” I picture you asking, “who somehow beat Ann Coulter, Abigail Fisher, and Toejam Lobotomy to be America’s worst white woman? How is she the LeBron of Karens?” Well,…
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The Difference Between a ‘Karen’ and a ‘Becky,’ Explained
Merriam-Webster defines “Becky” as “a white woman who is ignorant of both her privilege and her prejudice.”
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Bubble Guppies, Explained
What is a Bubble Guppy? No idea. None? No. A Bubble Guppy could be at my desk, right now, on a FaceTime call with Jason Derulo, and all I’d be thinking is “Where are his pants?” Whose pants? I don’t know. You’re not making any sense. Ask better questions. Okay. So why are you doing…
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Please Say 'Sike'
April Fools is a white holiday and I hate it. I even hate the word “prank.” It sounds like a fart that accidentally came out of a penis. Pranks. How many black people do you know who were involved in a prank? Even its synonyms are stupid. I bet you’ve never witnessed a negro “caper.”…