Opinion
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The Root's Clapback Mailbag: Yesterday
Today, there is no lede. Yesterday, the staff at The Root received this email From: MattTo: The Root Good afternoon, I love The Root, and you’ve got a great community of regular commenters on your site, but (as I’m sure you’ve heard plenty about) you have quite a few regular and not-so-regular trolls stirring up…
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Auntie Unfiltered: Actions Speak Louder Than Words
Hey nieces and nephews. Can you believe we are at the end of the first week of October already? 2020 has been something else, and as we are still trying to catch our breath, 2021 is peeking around the corner like Wilona on some “Hey y’all!” We are still in a pandemic. In the U.S.,…
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The Wrong People Are Dying
Much of my family will be in New Castle, Pa., this weekend to mourn the losses and celebrate the lives of my Uncle Donnie (who died last month) and my Aunt Doe (who died in April). This is happening this way because COVID-19. COVID-19 is why we had no service for my aunt in the…
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I'm Rooting for the Coronavirus
I remember Michael Harriot. Yesterday would have been his birthday. He was a human being. Before his untimely demise, Michael spent most of his time doing things like inhaling oxygen, exhaling carbon dioxide, and figuring out why people consume candy corn in a world where Skittles, Starburst and Now & Laters exist. Michael even believed…
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I Didn't Intend to Do This Product Review But Rescue!'s Fly Traps Work Like a Mug and Sharing is Caring
Do you need to get rid of some flies? I did. Wrote a song about it; like to hear it, here it go. A few weeks ago I started noticing random posts on my social media platforms about the aggressive amount of flies in the Washington, D.C. area. While I wanted to scream at them…
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We Need to Talk About the White-on-White Virus In the Republican Community
This weekend, I watched in horror as members of the white community took to the streets in support of another so-called “victim” of COVID-19. While our beloved Constitution guarantees us the freedom of speech, it’s time we said something about these dangerous members of antifa (The anti-facemask movement) running wild in our streets. Politico reports::…
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Trashcan Lannister Attempts to Dunk on Joe Biden While Nation Anxiously Waits for Her to Get COVID-19 Too
Early this morning, backslid humanoid Termite Listeriosis emerged from her deep slumber on a dumpster in an outhouse adjoined to a Barbie Dream Trap House to remind the world that a) she still exists and b) probably shouldn’t. Decades from now, when Torrential Laceration’s brain is devoted to science, perhaps we’ll finally understand the psychosis…
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President Trump's Health Is Reportedly Much Worse Than the White House Indicated. Here's Some Sneakers I Own.
These are really comfortable. These too. These are fun. I love the gold here. Classic.
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The Root's Clapback Mailbag: You Might Be a White Supremacist If…
Some people believe that white supremacists spew the n-word, burn crosses on lawns and spend their spare time practicing their Nazi salute. I wish. I wish all white supremacists were all scraggly white men who could be identified by their Nazi armbands or their evil mustaches. If only they wore name tags or had a…
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What to Do When Your Country Turns Into a Dumpster Fire
America is America-ing again. As a certain coronavirus-y occupant of the White House brazenly intensifies his all-out assault on the Constitution, media, truth, law, order, equality, democracy and everything this beloved country supposedly stands for, our fellow Americans find themselves in a state of confusion and outright despair after wrongly assuming a free supply of…