Professional Amateur Businesswoman Ivanka Trump Slams Green New Deal, Walks Right into Shade from Ocasio-Cortez 

Ivanka Trump, sentient Funko Pop doll and daughter of America’s worst professional liar, took to the airwaves to show the apple don’t fall far from the tree.

During a pre-recorded interview with Fox News’ Steve Hilton, Donald Trump’s daughter cum dream girl was asked a question concerning the Green New Deal, a framework introduced by liberal Democrats that would, among other measures, guarantee a job to every American in the fight against climate change.

Trump, born to a man who secured his own personal wealth by defrauding the government out of millions in tax money before marrying his daughter off to a man whose father attempted to blackmail his own sister, was incensed at the thought that any American unconnected to her family tree would take more than what they earned fair and square.

“I’ve spent a lot of time traveling around this country over the last four years. People want to work for what they get,” said Trump, owner of a now-defunct fashion line who was recently awarded initial approval for 16 Chinese trademarks. “This idea of a guaranteed minimum is not something most people want. They want the ability to be able to secure a job. They want the ability to live in a country where’s there’s the potential for upward mobility.”

Setting aside the inherent ridiculousness of the bootstrap chatter from the comically small mouth of a woman whose father had a number of all-too-cozy relationships with the mafia, Ivanka failed to reconcile her response with the pesky issue of polling data. A recent poll by the Yale Program on Climate Communication showed strong bipartisan support for the Green New Deal, even among conservative Republicans. 81 percent of all registered voters either “somewhat support” or “strongly support” the plan, with 64 percent of registered Republicans (and 57 percent of conservatives!) in favor of the plan, which would seek to accelerate the transition from fossil fuels while upgrading the national power grid.

And then there’s issue of the length of Ivanka’s arms. While they may look normal to the untrained eye, further research reveals them too short to box with both God and, in this case, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez.

Ocasio-Cortez, freshman Representative from New York’s 14th district, made quick work of Trump’s pie-in-the-sky lie via Twitter.

“As a person who actually worked for tips [and] hourly wages in my life,” said Ocasio-Cortez, the former bartender, “instead of having to learn about it secondhand, I can tell you that most people want to be paid enough to live.”

“A living wage isn’t a gift, it’s a right. Workers are often paid far less than the value they create,” she continued. An hour later, she laid bare the stupidity with another tweet:

Ivanka, unable to muster the histrionics we’ve come to expect from her father, did manage to make her father proud by mischaracterizing the nature of her interview.

Kids, man. They grow up so fast.