The 10 Most Common Questions Asked in Married Households 

1. “Did you poop today?”

2. “When was the last time you pooped?”

3. “Did you feel better after you pooped?”

4. “Will those beans/spinach/nuts/kale/pills/yoga/workout plan/new sheets/fancy toothpaste help me/you poop?”

5. “How many poops did you take this week?”

6. “You don’t remember the last time you pooped?”

7. “If we go to this thing today, will there be a safe space and time to poop?”

8. “I feel lighter than usual today.” “Was it because of the poops?”

9. “Was it a good or bad or ‘eh’ poop?”

10. “Do you think we talk too much about poop?”

Honorable mentions:

Did you poop this morning?

Did you poop before the shower?

Does pooping before bed help you sleep?

Did you read that thing I sent you about pooping?

(While on the phone with each other) “Are you pooping right now?”