I love my people.
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By βmy people,β I mean Black people.
Why? Because as someone once put it: βThe world could be ending and Black people will still be on Twitter cracking jokes through it all.β
And thatβs the Godβs honest truth, if there ever was one.
How do I know this? Well, dear reader, a casual scroll across Twitter will show you sign after sign that weβre living in the last of the last days. A casual stroll through the streets of Black Twitter on any given day, however, will also show that no matter the travesty, weβre still gonna get these jokes off.
Take, for instance, this latest news of the recently discovered COVID variant: Omicron.
Now, of course, when the world heard we had yet ANOTHER variant to be mindful of, they threw themselves into an arguably justifiable panic. My people, on the other hand, decided to take a completely different (but par for the course) approach and collectively renamed the new variant after one of the most unbothered kings this world has ever seen: B2K frontman and Grammy-nominated singer, dancer and actor Omarion.
You see, itβs not that Omicron is some insanely difficult word to pronounce. Itβs not. But itβs just that βOmarionβ sounds way better and goes down whole lot smoother. I mean, think about it: would you rather have this intimidating-ass, Transformers-sounding, Avengers villain reject-sounding name for this new variant? Or would you rather the calm, cool, and collected vibe of this beautifully melanated brothaβs name?
For me, and the rest of Black Twitter, the choice is obvious:
βBlack ppl deciding the Omicron variant is the Omarion variant is the Blackest sh*t this year to date,β one user wrote online.
βThe fact that yβall just started calling that variant the Omarion variant lmao, Black people gon make jokes til the very end,β wrote another.
And sheβs right. You have to admit, the visual of a variant passionately pop-lockinβ down the street like itβs 2005 should be enough to make you wanna βbump, bump, bumpβ your shoulders just a little bit. (And by βbump, bump, bumpβ we mean get the vaccine shot in your shoulder. Like, go get the shot. Deadass. Quit playinβ.)
And besides, unlike the first time COVID spread, we donβt have to wait months and months for a remedy for the Omarion variant. Thanks to TikTok, we were already exposed to the number one way to shirk the spread: by participating in the #OmarionChallenge:
And whatβs even better? The βTouchβ singer himself is even with the shits and isnβt in the least bit bothered about being the face (and moves) of this new strain.
βThere is nothing more healing than music or a good laugh. Iβm thankful to be able to give people bothβ¦From the omarion dance challenge to bein superimposed on the new variant, The internet is forever undefeated. While we laugh, stay safe and stay healthy,β Omarion wrote.
Jokes aside though: we all are BEYOND ready to pop-lock out of this pandemic. So remember to keep washing your hands, socially distance when you can, wear your mask, and above all: GO GET THE VACCINE AND/OR THE BOOSTER BEFORE YOU HAVE AN ICEBOX WHERE YOUR HEART USED TO BE, DAMMIT.!
Straight From
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