When Aunties Attack: Video of Cop Manhandling Black Child Goes Viral

A video of a woman’s reaction to a police officer literally strong-arming her nephew at a Georgia mall shows the inherent danger law enforcement officers face when they are trying to protect the prized assets of great American landmarks like Spencer’s Gifts and Rue 21.

The video, uploaded by Twitter user Simar, shows a cop tightly gripping the arm of a black child who appears to be calm aside from objecting to the officer holding his arm in what appears to be the beginning of a ju-jitsu submission move or a very basic blood pressure check.

“You’re about to go to jail” warns Paul Blart, Racist Mall Cop, who is obviously upset that no one thanked him for his service as an Officer in the Old Navy. “You’re going to go to a youth detention center if you don’t stop,” the cop adds.

The woman asks the officer to speak to the child’s father, who she says is on the phone, but the officer refuses to relinquish his grip on the boy. As the officer appears to pull the boy or take him to the ground, Auntie springs into action, apparently grabbing the officer right in front of his police station (the Sbarro’s in the food court).

“You not finna handle him like that!” the woman yells, dropping her inside, code-switching voice. “You not finna handle my nephew like that!” she continues, alerting bystanders that the shit is indeed about to go down (In Atlanta, prefacing any statement with: “You not finna…” is both a warning call and a clarion call).

Another officer or security guard comes on the scene and grabs the boy while the cop radios in for help from the woman who is probably armed with dangerous items like a Cinnabon, a cell phone or knowledge of her rights.

As someone who was always surrounded by his aunts, I can assure you that the officer was actually in danger. I walked through parts of the Bronx with my aunt that I wouldn’t visit with armed Secret Service escorts. But instead of mace, most black aunties are armed with a secret concoction known as “the blood of Jesus” and are skilled in an ancient form of African martial arts called Bet’not Fuk Wit’her.

But let us pause and thank the brave men and women protecting our Yankee Candles and tie-dyed Hot Topic shirts. If it weren’t for them, where would we go when we needed to buy a pair of $23 ankle socks from FootAction?

God bless the brave boy-handlers of Cumberland Mall in Atlanta.