Lift Every Fork
Lift Every Fork
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Congratulations. Y'all Broke Popeyes
In case you’ve been living under a Chick-fil-A, Popeyes ushered in the apocalypse with its latest creation: a tender all-white meat chicken breast fillet baptized in the blood of Jesus, slathered with the Holy Spirit, then served with a complimentary side of Luther Vandross’ vocal cords. But after weeks of insanely long lines, fistfights and…
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Pieces of Chicken, Ranked
In the midst of the ongoing hullabaloo about Popeyes’ new chicken sandwich, we decided to settle a separate chicken-related argument that has raged for years. What is the best piece of chicken? We know the answer is subjective, so we decided to assemble a team of experts in the field of chickenology to end this…
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Authorities Rescind All Invitations to the Cookout
Citing rampant abuse and the increasing number of black barbecue-goers who mistakenly assumed that they were eating auntie-certified potato salad but somehow ended up with cubed cauliflower and sour cream in their mouths, America’s oldest and most respected governing bodies for negro culinary activities issued a moratorium on all cookout invitations for the foreseeable future.…
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At Harlem Eat Up, Harlem’s Food Scene Showcases Its Proud Culinary History—and Its Future
Every great soul food plate is symphonic in nature. There’s the rich medley of textures and flavor profiles: the satisfying, savory crunch of fried chicken skin, giving way to the juicy, slick meat underneath. The electric orange comfort of candied yams, sweet and buttery and sliding around your tongue. The bright tanginess of greens sopping…
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The Official Rules for the 2019 Cookout Season
As the opening day to Cookout Season 2019 approaches, it is the responsibility of the Black Legislative American Cookout Council (BLACC) to keep our constituents informed of the rules. These guidelines have been voted on by a panel of experts that includes: Marvell Clyburn, the 2018 Deviled Egg Champion of the world Jamila McKenzie, a…
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Harlem EatUp Festival Celebrates Family Culinary Legacies, Uplifts the Community
I sat with Tonja and Tianna Ottley on Monday night at the opening dinner of this week’s Harlem EatUp, an annual event devoted to showcasing some of the neighborhood’s best chefs, as they both recalled how they influenced each other’s cooking. Tonja beamed with joy much of the night because her daughter is one of…
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An Alabama Restaurant Is Selling the Whitest Sandwich Ever and We Need to Stop Them
The ancient prophecies speak of a time when the forces of good will have to unite to fight the ultimate evil. Throughout history, this revelation has been imagined as everything from a zombie apocalypse to a war between angels and demons. But I have stared death and destruction in the face and have peered into…
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The CDC Delivers The Final Verdict on Whether or Not to Wash Your Chicken
I grew up in a home with parents who couldn’t cook for shit, so my affinity for food as an adult is tainted by trauma. I remember many a night where my sister and I were presented with either finishing our food or getting the belt, and us willingly taking that ass whooping just so…
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People Are Buying a 27-Pound Bucket of Macaroni and Cheese. This Is Why Jesus Wept
A brief list of the whitest things I’ve ever seen: An obviously drunk white woman with “Roll Tide” painted on the sagging buttocks area of a pair of ill-fitting Daisy Dukes doing the “funky worm” on the floor during a traditional Indian wedding reception while the “Electric Slide” was playing. A polar bear/Steve King (tie)…
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Atlanta Decides Not to Impeach Mayor on Misdemeanor Macaroni Charges
After proudly becoming one of the largest metropolitan cities in the U.S. to be led by a black woman, Atlanta was rocked by scandal on Christmas Day when residents of the city recoiled in shock after learning that a black woman named Keisha made a pan of macaroni and cheese that looked like someone melted…