Some Thoughts
Some Thoughts
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35 Things I Thought Were Signs of Extreme Wealth When I Was Younger
1. A garage 2. A basketball hoop on said garage 3. A fiberglass basketball hoop (if you had this, I assumed you were Warren Buffet) 4. A pantry 5. A finished basement 6. A family with two cars 7. A salary of over $60,000 a year 8. Annual family vacations 9. Having separate hoop shoes…
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It's Fine to Just Cry, Too
I keep coming back to resilience. And how I hate how we consider it to be an essential and inherent and invaluable characteristic of Blackness. I hate it because itās dehumanizing. Being born Black donātĀ make us any more resilient than anyone else. We aināt stronger. We aināt tougher. Weāve just been given more shit to…
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VAN JONES IS AARON BURR!
It finally dawned on me yesterday, after reading that Van Jones said Jared Kushner has āthe dopest job in the world.ā Which is such a Van Jones-ass thing to do and sayāand not just because heās praising the effete criminal dickwad whoās what would happen if every Jared ever and every 28-year-old MBA ever were…
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So Maybe It's Time to Defund Sports, Too
If you ever find yourself walking around downtown Pittsburgh on a Friday afternoon in the early fallāwhen the weather is still nice enough to be jacket-lessāyouād encounter many of the amenities that consistently place it on Americaās Most Livable Cities lists. The world-renowned Cultural District. Restaurants helmed by Beard-nominated chefs. Architectural and topographical marvels unseen…
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Abolish All These Damn Zoom Work Calls So I Can Be Naked While Working at Home Again
So itās not so much that working while naked is a thing I need to do. Iām anemic, so I get cold easily. (I am the person who, immediately after checking into a hotel room, turns the thermostat to 80, leaves and doesnāt come back until the room is sufficiently toasty.) And it doesnāt feel…
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New York City Is Dead, Because I Killed It When I Left and Went Back Home to Pittsburgh: An Essay About Murder
āThe city is dead,ā I said, aloud, to no one, while each step I took crashed the same cement Iād fallen in love with. The pizza box I lugged with meāfilled, just 32 minutes earlier, with a New York City pizza sliceāwas empty, except for crumbs. Heh. A metaphor, for the dead city. āA metaphor,…
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Abolish MAGA Parody Hats
Conceding even the tiniest thing to a hateful and violent twerp like our president feels like a total defeat. Unfortunately, I must admit that there are (at least) three zeitgeist-related places that he has āwonāāwhere his influence has been total and, possibly, irreversible. Iāve never been a kumbaya-ass nigga who gave any proper shits about…
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COVID-19 Made Me a One-Issue Voter: Get the Man Responsible for 165,000 American Deaths the Fuck Out
So I guess thereās no point in belaboring my premise since itās right there, with a bullhorn, in the title, but I do want to clarify. Getting the motherfucker(s) most responsible for the way COVID-19 has devastated America the fuck out of office is the thing I care about most right now. But itās not…
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Why (Some) Men Seem to be So Bothered by Cardi B's 'WAP,' Explained
This is dumb. What? Your entire premise. Whatās wrong with it? Why would anyone in their right mind be bothered by waffles and pancakes? Theyāre delicious breakfast and brunch staples. The Anthony Davis of breakfast and brunch. And, even if you had celiac disease, there are gluten-free options. Do these men hate french toast too?…
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Here's Some Songs, Presented Today for No Reason Whatsoever, About PHAD (Presumably Hard-Ass Dicks)
1. āToo Closeā Next Was a very popular club song in college. I donāt listen to the words of R&B songs, so didnāt realize it was about hard dicks until years later. Many years later. Too many years later. Like last year. 2. āMagic Stickā 50 Cent 3. āDogshitā Olā Dirty Bastard Another college-related memory…